The Missing Ingredient
Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. EPHESIANS 5:28
See if you can spot the problem in this couple’s relationship:
The first few years of our marriage were good, but the sweet talk and little whispers in the ear diminished, and we became just another married couple. My husband, however, still wanted all the perks that go with marriage. I began to resent his touch because I didn’t feel like he really loved me, just my body. I remember after making love with him on occasion, I would cry because I felt cheap and used. He, of course, was angry because he knew this wasn’t the way a marriage was supposed to be. Stalemate. Sexual impasse. But is it just a matter of misunderstanding and unmet expectations? Insensitivity and selfishness?
I’m finding my physical desire for sexual intimacy dwindling. But I would still love to be romantically head-over-heels in love with my husband like I once was. I would love to have him touch my heart. The sad thing is, we just don’t really have a spiritual link between us.
Ah, there it is. Underneath all the surface issues, beneath all the uncomfortable moments and silent frustrations, lies the deep spiritual need that resides in every one of us. Far too many husbands fail to recognize that what your wife wants and needs most from you is your concern for her soul—your daily desire to take her needs before the Father and unite with her in shared dependence on Him.
When you step up and take your place as the spiritual leader in your family, you create an environment where bitterness can’t easily survive but where relationship and romance can grow.
Talk about how you can truly lead your wife spiritually. Ask what it looks like to her. Then take her hand and pray for one or two of her needs.
Husbands, pray for the courage to keep leading spiritually, even though you won’t do it perfectly. Wives, pray that your husband will be encouraged as he leads you and your family spiritually.